Thanks to Gabriella of Palestinian origin for posting this testimony from an Ashkenazi Israeli lady, thus honoring both of them :
I’ve never truly belonged anywhere. Some might see that as tragic. But I see it as freedom. . It meant I never subscribed to group identity. Not to religion. Not to nationalism. Not to a flag. Not to a story I didn’t choose. My only identity is my own. My only home is this body. . I’ve always been an outsider. A non-follower. As a kid — especially as a teen — that meant aloneness. And with my own personal trauma already screwing up my ability to connect, It was like I was watching life from some other world. Family, school, society — like scenes in a play I hadn’t auditioned for. . But that distance gave me something most people never get. It gave me freedom from the script. From collective delusion. From mass conditioning. From swallowing propaganda disguised as pride. . And if there’s one thing Israel does exceptionally well — it’s propaganda. It’s drilling nationalism into children and calling it love. It’s calling entitlement survival. Calling military loyalty morality. Calling occupation peace. . We were told: we’re the chosen ones. We were told: we deserve this land. We were told: they gave it to us willingly. . Few questioned the story. Even fewer knew it was a lie. I questioned. And I knew. Cuz truth doesn’t require obedience. . I also questioned why the Holocaust’s loudest lesson wasn’t about unity, love, or the sameness of humanity – but about our differences. The strength and superiority of our Jewish minds. The pride of our nation. The righteousness of our cause. . And for that cause to survive, the conditioning must be complete. The thinking must be maintained. The story must be repeated. . Unquestioned. Unchallenged. Protected at all costs. . Including the cost of children’s lives. Including the cost of truth. Including the cost of our own humanity. . I too was a soldier. I didn’t choose to be. None of us did. We were 18. Kids in uniform. Sleepwalking through trauma, half awake. And in that nightmare, I became an even deeper outsider. People in green, commanding my body — and trying to claim my mind. . Fellow soldiers competing for leave days, top jobs, approval, and rank. Officers competing for privilege. Commanders competing for power. And underneath it all — Misogyny. Abuse. Ego. Corruption. . Make no mistake: this army is about power, not peace. This war is about ego, not justice. And ‘being Israeli’ is too often not about ideals or truth — but about fear, entitlement, and control. . In my family, I was ‘selfish’ for not wanting to ‘contribute’. For refusing to play my role in a machine that kills, divides, steals, and then calls itself moral. . And now, I see people I once respected — calling human rights activists “pro-Pallys.” “Watermelonians”. Mocking empathy. Whining about antisemitism while their state murders and displaces with the full backing of the West. . Antisemitism? When billions are being poured into Israel’s arsenal? When saying ‘ceasefire’ is more controversial than strategic starving? When throwing paint is deemed more dangerous than bombing? . And you can’t see yourself as superior, and then cry about being seen as less. If your life is worth more than someone else’s — then yours is worth less to someone else. It just depends who’s holding the gun. . No. Innocent lives are innocent lives. Same blood. Same skin. Same bones. . And of course — what happened on October 7th was horrific. But what Israel has done since? Is unforgivable. Not justice. Not safety. Not self-defence. Revenge. Sanctioned. Funded. Strategised and marketed. Genocide dressed in grief and broadcast as survival. . And I believe — though many still won’t — that one day the truth will surface: That the Israeli government knew. Let it happen. Welcomed it. . Cuz when your goal is mass destruction, you don’t keep hostages in mind. You don’t really mourn your dead – they’re sacrificed to justify your violence. . I’m told I have no right to speak. That I don’t get it, I don’t understand. Because I left at 20 years old… the min I could. . But I don’t think this way because I left. I left because I think this way.
We were taught to never forget, that silence isn’t neutral. It kills. We were told how easily pride becomes loyalty, conscience replaced by orders. Ordinary people made into weapons. We were warned how easy it is to obey, to conform, to stop thinking. . The past doesn’t just repeat. It asks to pay attention. . Let history say we remembered. Let it say we resisted. Let it say we stayed awake. That we chose to feel when it cost us comfort, but kept us human. . 🖤🤍💚❤ . (Any Israelis wanting to attack me for this post – please just defriend me.)
– Maya Zack
I’ve never truly belonged anywhere. Some might see that as tragic. But I see it as freedom. . It meant I never subscribed to group identity. Not to religion. Not to nationalism. Not to a flag. Not to a story I didn’t choose. My only identity is my own. My only home is this body. . I’ve always been an outsider. A non-follower. As a kid — especially as a teen — that meant aloneness. And with my own personal trauma already screwing up my ability to connect, It was like I was watching life from some other world. Family, school, society — like scenes in a play I hadn’t auditioned for. . But that distance gave me something most people never get. It gave me freedom from the script. From collective delusion. From mass conditioning. From swallowing propaganda disguised as pride. . And if there’s one thing Israel does exceptionally well — it’s propaganda. It’s drilling nationalism into children and calling it love. It’s calling entitlement survival. Calling military loyalty morality. Calling occupation peace. . We were told: we’re the chosen ones. We were told: we deserve this land. We were told: they gave it to us willingly. . Few questioned the story. Even fewer knew it was a lie. I questioned. And I knew. Cuz truth doesn’t require obedience. . I also questioned why the Holocaust’s loudest lesson wasn’t about unity, love, or the sameness of humanity – but about our differences. The strength and superiority of our Jewish minds. The pride of our nation. The righteousness of our cause. . And for that cause to survive, the conditioning must be complete. The thinking must be maintained. The story must be repeated. . Unquestioned. Unchallenged. Protected at all costs. . Including the cost of children’s lives. Including the cost of truth. Including the cost of our own humanity. . I too was a soldier. I didn’t choose to be. None of us did. We were 18. Kids in uniform. Sleepwalking through trauma, half awake. And in that nightmare, I became an even deeper outsider. People in green, commanding my body — and trying to claim my mind. . Fellow soldiers competing for leave days, top jobs, approval, and rank. Officers competing for privilege. Commanders competing for power. And underneath it all — Misogyny. Abuse. Ego. Corruption. . Make no mistake: this army is about power, not peace. This war is about ego, not justice. And ‘being Israeli’ is too often not about ideals or truth — but about fear, entitlement, and control. . In my family, I was ‘selfish’ for not wanting to ‘contribute’. For refusing to play my role in a machine that kills, divides, steals, and then calls itself moral. . And now, I see people I once respected — calling human rights activists “pro-Pallys.” “Watermelonians”. Mocking empathy. Whining about antisemitism while their state murders and displaces with the full backing of the West. . Antisemitism? When billions are being poured into Israel’s arsenal? When saying ‘ceasefire’ is more controversial than strategic starving? When throwing paint is deemed more dangerous than bombing? . And you can’t see yourself as superior, and then cry about being seen as less. If your life is worth more than someone else’s — then yours is worth less to someone else. It just depends who’s holding the gun. . No. Innocent lives are innocent lives. Same blood. Same skin. Same bones. . And of course — what happened on October 7th was horrific. But what Israel has done since? Is unforgivable. Not justice. Not safety. Not self-defence. Revenge. Sanctioned. Funded. Strategised and marketed. Genocide dressed in grief and broadcast as survival. . And I believe — though many still won’t — that one day the truth will surface: That the Israeli government knew. Let it happen. Welcomed it. . Cuz when your goal is mass destruction, you don’t keep hostages in mind. You don’t really mourn your dead – they’re sacrificed to justify your violence. . I’m told I have no right to speak. That I don’t get it, I don’t understand. Because I left at 20 years old… the min I could. . But I don’t think this way because I left. I left because I think this way.
We were taught to never forget, that silence isn’t neutral. It kills. We were told how easily pride becomes loyalty, conscience replaced by orders. Ordinary people made into weapons. We were warned how easy it is to obey, to conform, to stop thinking. . The past doesn’t just repeat. It asks to pay attention. . Let history say we remembered. Let it say we resisted. Let it say we stayed awake. That we chose to feel when it cost us comfort, but kept us human. . 🖤🤍💚❤ . (Any Israelis wanting to attack me for this post – please just defriend me.)
– Maya Zack
